Ikemba Speaks

Are you dependable? Can you be depended upon to come through, come what may? This is not about how much money you have, or what and who you know. It is about standing and counting for something every time. Can you be trusted to say what you mean and mean what you say every single time? This attribute alone may distinguish you from everybody in your organization, your circle of friends, and in your family. It is easier to only do things that are convenient It takes a lot to be very dependable, because sacrifices have to be made, but at the end it always pays off.

Jobs are temporary. Most colleagues, line managers and subordinates are temporary, and more often than not, are very competitive. Jobs, colleagues, line managers and subordinates are more often than not, after the value they can get from you. Jobs want you to add to their bottom line, which is why you were engaged in the first place. Colleagues want to ensure that they are at least at par with you from a remuneration, position and recognition point of view. Line managers want you to make them shine. Subordinates want to learn from you, and eventually compete for your role. But friends, true friends, only want to see you shine, see you succeed, see you achieve potential, and do not mind being inconvenienced to help you when you need moral, financial, emotional and physical support.  True friends may be doing better or worse off than you, but it is irrelevant to them. They are just happy to be your friend.  When the hurly burly is done, and...

The biggest risk in life is not taking any risks. Because you automatically lose 100% of all the risks you do not take. Of course, many risks are not worth trying in the first instance. But in the pursuit of great, there is a chance of losing the good you have, not getting great, and having to start again from scratch. But what if you attained that great you pursued? Life itself is a risk. Contrary to what we think, most of the things we think are within our control, are actually not. You can’t guarantee not being involved in a road accident even if you are very careful and considerate of other road users. When you begin a self-funded MBA programme, and your plans are based on your job, you do not know if you would still have the job for the duration of your programme. When you are getting married to your spouse, you only know what you have been told by the spouse, or what you have experienced with the spouse. You do not know everything that has ha...

You don’t believe it? You will be amazed at how much people hate themselves.  People hate that they are not lighter in complexion.  Others hate their belly, their height, their hair, and the so on. Some people also hate their family background, their parents, and their upbringing. The effect of this on their career and life is that they will have low self-esteem, and constantly seek validation from people, and are constantly obsessed about how better their life would be if the body part or aspect of their life that they don’t like wasn’t the way it was. Poor family environment and poor social environment are usually responsible for people hating themselves.  The family is the first point of socialization and usually, the most impactful, followed by social environments like school, peer group, and religious groups. When either of this is poor, the effect on the individual can be very negative. If you find yourself always refusing help,...

Grudges are normal, and okay too. As long as they do not last long and fester. Why? Because holding grudges doesn’t make you strong, it makes you bitter.  Forgiving, on the other hand, doesn’t make you weak, it makes you free. Holding grudges is like lighting yourself on fire, and expecting the begrudged to burn. Of course, there are always ‘legitimate’ reasons why one may want to hold grudges.  A colleague who seems to always go out of his or her way to disparage your work, and mostly succeeds at it;  A sibling or a family member who you have sacrificed literally everything for, but who never hesitates to talk you down at any forum just to look good;  An ex who betrayed you in ways you never thought possible; the list goes on and on. But, these reasons appear ‘legitimate’ does not make it healthy for you to hold grudges. Here are some of the signs that you are holding a grudge against somebody: 1.   ...

You never enjoy the value of the health, freedom and life you have until you are at the verge of losing it. There is always something to be grateful for. While it is noble to pursue career development and growth, to be a responsible family member and a model citizen, and a role model too; at the end of the day, we are all living life in the pursuit of happiness. For some, happiness is more money in the bag. For others, it is achieving set life goals and objectives. For others, it is raising a family. Whatever it is for you, try to enjoy it. Try to find happiness in it. Try to savour all the little pleasures life has to offer – within the borders of reason and common sense of course. If you don’t, when you have become much older, and your ability to enjoy life becomes much diminished, you absolutely would regret not enjoying life more when you could.

You may wonder what this has to do with your career and life. More than you can imagine! Except perhaps you don’t believe in stuff like parental blessings, Karma, and the indescribable feeling you get from being able to repay the parental care you enjoyed as an infant, a toddler, a teenager, and a young adult – not to mention inconveniences caused and expenses made to shape you into who you are today. In a world where family life is fast drifting from communality to individuality, with humans increasingly becoming more selfish, self-centred and hyper egocentric. Treating parents well is actually generally easier than you think. An empathetic mind. A listening ear. A little generous hand. And time for calls, and occasional visits. Okay….. it is not very easy, considering the hectic lifestyle of today’s world. But, your parents probably endured and sacrificed more…and given the chance, would do it again in a heartbeat. Some of the greates...