Ikemba Speaks

What’s the point? Except you are a sadist, you most likely won’t feel good when you treat people badly. And the badly treated party won’t feel good about you or the experience either. Coupled with the fact that as humans, when given the opportunity, we love to serve the revenge meal really chilled, you probably would get it worse the moment the badly treated party has the opportunity to pay you back in your coin. You may hide under the guise or excuse of morality, ethical stand, discipline, proactivity or exemplary leadership to treat people badly. You may be doing all these and not know you have treated, or are treating people badly, but it changes nothing nonetheless. The first characteristic of humanity is imperfection. We make mistakes as effortlessly as we breathe. But, guess what the constant thing about life and humans is…yes you guessed right...change. Humans may make errors, but even more importantly, humans can also change…and for the better too.

In a digital-driven world where perception is influenced by social media trends and influencers, and where decisions and opinion even at a corporate level are driven by what the trend is on social media, it is easy for you to worry so much about what others think – to desire validation. While getting validation is not a bad thing on its own, worrying so much about it so that it seems that all your action and the satisfaction you derive is based on the validation you get from other people, colleagues, your spouse, your siblings, your followers on social media, and your friends is negative. Worrying so much about what others think about you and what you do takes objectivity out of your actions and decisions, because other than worrying about empirically measurable set objectives, you become subjective and worry instead about how someone or people would feel about A validation seeking mind is an emotion clouded one, and an emotion clouded mind is not a successful career

Giving back refers to rendering service and support in cash or kind, particularly to your community, or to the society because you acknowledge that you have enjoyed certain benefits from the community or society, and wish to ensure that other people can enjoy the same benefits – through you.   Nothing gives more pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfillment than giving back. And the good news is that you do not need to have millions to give back. There are various avenues and channels through which you can give back. You can give back in form of cash, recommendations, approvals, knowledge sharing, granting access, training, development, scholarships, sponsorships, community work, and social work in your religious group or social group. It is however easier to give back when you are active, young, earning income, and have strength. This is because, whether you are giving back in cash or kind, you would need all the above factors to give back effectively.

When you have to wake up very early every day, hit traffic – which you struggle through, by the way, get to work mostly crappy, work late and wade through the same traffic. You are bound to get a little on the edge almost all the time. Add these to tight office deadlines, office politics, and pressure from home, it becomes pretty easy for the little things to get to you. But you should not. This is because letting the little things get to you is a sign of low emotional intelligence and it can also be identified by perceptive opponents who may use it against you by deliberately pushing your buttons when they need you to lose your cool to their advantage. In your career, your IQ gets you started, but it is your EQ that not only keeps you in, but ensures that you grow. So, whether you look at it from a career perspective, or from a life perspective, letting the little things get to you does not serve you well.

By default, humanity thrives on interaction. No family is made up of one person. Neither is there a school, office or religious body that is made up of one person. The need for socialization, human interaction and engagement cannot be over-emphasized. You will be the same person you are today in the next 5 years, except for the books you read, and the company you keep. Because life is not a straight line, there always will be many curves, turns, bends, ups and downs, both in your career and your personal life. No matter how resilient, educated and self-reliant you are, the role of your spouse, colleagues, peers, leaders, mentors, siblings, religious leaders and even your children cannot be overlooked. Some will inspire you to prove them right or wrong, some will drive you to achieve more for their sake, some are just there to give you a listening ear – which can be priceless, some are there to intercede and pray for you, while others may just be there to

No matter how much you try, there would always be some unfinished business in the office. The day there is no more work to be done, the business goes out of business. The trick is to learn how to balance. Balance work with rest, family and other extra-curricular activity that catches your fancy. Listen. Nobody is indispensable. You may be important. Very important actually. But do not ever deceive yourself into believing that you are indispensable. Therefore, refusing to go on a deserved vacation using the excuse of the business suffering because of your short absence is actually self-delusional, and a sign of job insecurity. And remember, the ability to go on vacation is a function of the availability of funds to prosecute it, good health to enjoy it, a guaranteed job to come back to after the vacation, as well as the availability of free time, however short, to enjoy it. These are factors which your job and career currently enable. Do no

Don’t drink soda, it’s not good for you. Don’t eat starchy foods, you will add weight. Don’t drink beer, you will have a pot-belly. Don’t…Don’t…Don’t. The list is endless. The truth is that, whether you like it or not, at some point in your life, due to no fault of yours, and notwithstanding how strict you are with your diet, you will add weight, and you may have some health issues, which may either be treatable or just manageable. The key is to enjoy all classes of food in moderation.  Eat breakfast as early as you can, and eat enough to get you far along the day.  Whatever you drink, wine, soda, beer, or spirit, consume moderately.  Ensure you also exercise at every opportunity. Just walk around at every chance. The only thing that you definitely should not take at all from a health perspective is cigarettes. All the tasty, yummy and delicious food available were made for our enjoyment.  It would be sad to work so hard, only to de

We have seen it so many times in movies and in reality. A man telling his complaining wife and children that he is working his socks off for them. A couple leaving home very early, sometimes before the kids are awake, and returning late, sometimes too, much after the kids have gone to bed. While it is true that you spend the bulk of our time alive actively working, it is also true that you most likely would spend almost about the same length of time if you are lucky, living in near-inactivity after retirement, usually post-60 years old. The measure of happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment and peace you would enjoy with your immediate family during that retirement period would very much be a function of how much time you invested in them. The glowing career may give you enough money today, awards, recognition, fame and satisfaction today, but it would be a memory tomorrow, and a source of regret if it is done at the expense of precious family time, building memor

It really is sad when someone else is in charge of your happiness. For many people, different things are responsible for their happiness. For some, it is their job or boss. For others, it is their spouse.  For yet oth ers, it is their societal standing or social equity. The problem with all of these things is that they are usually not within your control. Jobs come and go, or you leave them if the circumstances are no longer ideal. Spouses always have personal aspirations too, which you may not be able to influence. Society and social equity are fickle. You cannot control it. To be truly happy, in and out of season, it is best that one lives a principle – centred life. This principle thus becomes the constant that holds everything together. Your principles are your guiding compass. They moderate your actions, your worldview, your perceptions, as well as how you respond to how your career pans out, how your spouse evolves, how your societal perceptio

Self-preservation indeed is the primary law of life. But self-preservation and selfishness is not the same thing. Selfishness is thinking only about you.  A selfish partner never thinks about the relationship, that partner only thinks about himself or herself. A selfish employee would constantly focus on how activities and events in and outside the company add value first to himself or herself before thinking of the organization he or she is supposed to be mindful of. The problem with selfishness is that it is difficult to mask.  Therefore, a selfish person is easily identified and avoided. When you are avoided, your opportunities begin to dwindle, and so does your chance of succeeding in career and life.

Yesterday, getting access to the internet was a nightmare. Consequently, I was unable to post No.19.  But I'm back. So, today, I would share both No. 19 and No. 20 of my series tagged: 31 THINGS YOU WOULD ABSOLUTELY REGRET DOING TO YOUR CAREER AND LIFE. Please enjoy.  Our true character as humans is usually revealed when we have money and when we have power. What we fail to remember, however, is that both money and power are transient. Nobody is ever MD or GM or Director or Boss for life! It is important to remember that nobody dropped on the top. Everybody grew to the top, and therefore was once a subordinate, a junior, a recruit or an intern. When you use your power or office to oppress anybody, you are setting yourself up for karma and disappointment in the future, because what goes around comes around. The oppressed too would rise. Your reign will end. And the table would turn. What you would get when your career has run its course, or how you