Ikemba Speaks

What’s the point? Except you are a sadist, you most likely won’t feel good when you treat people badly. And the badly treated party won’t feel good about you or the experience either. Coupled with the fact that as humans, when given the opportunity, we love to serve the revenge meal really chilled, you probably would get it worse the moment the badly treated party has the opportunity to pay you back in your coin. You may hide under the guise or excuse of morality, ethical stand, discipline, proactivity or exemplary leadership to treat people badly. You may be doing all these and not know you have treated, or are treating people badly, but it changes nothing nonetheless. The first characteristic of humanity is imperfection. We make mistakes as effortlessly as we breathe. But, guess what the constant thing about life and humans is…yes you guessed right...change. Humans may make errors, but even more importantly, humans can also change…and for the better too...

In a digital-driven world where perception is influenced by social media trends and influencers, and where decisions and opinion even at a corporate level are driven by what the trend is on social media, it is easy for you to worry so much about what others think – to desire validation. While getting validation is not a bad thing on its own, worrying so much about it so that it seems that all your action and the satisfaction you derive is based on the validation you get from other people, colleagues, your spouse, your siblings, your followers on social media, and your friends is negative. Worrying so much about what others think about you and what you do takes objectivity out of your actions and decisions, because other than worrying about empirically measurable set objectives, you become subjective and worry instead about how someone or people would feel about A validation seeking mind is an emotion clouded one, and an emotion clouded mind is not a successful career ...

Giving back refers to rendering service and support in cash or kind, particularly to your community, or to the society because you acknowledge that you have enjoyed certain benefits from the community or society, and wish to ensure that other people can enjoy the same benefits – through you.   Nothing gives more pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfillment than giving back. And the good news is that you do not need to have millions to give back. There are various avenues and channels through which you can give back. You can give back in form of cash, recommendations, approvals, knowledge sharing, granting access, training, development, scholarships, sponsorships, community work, and social work in your religious group or social group. It is however easier to give back when you are active, young, earning income, and have strength. This is because, whether you are giving back in cash or kind, you would need all the above factors to give back effectively.

When you have to wake up very early every day, hit traffic – which you struggle through, by the way, get to work mostly crappy, work late and wade through the same traffic. You are bound to get a little on the edge almost all the time. Add these to tight office deadlines, office politics, and pressure from home, it becomes pretty easy for the little things to get to you. But you should not. This is because letting the little things get to you is a sign of low emotional intelligence and it can also be identified by perceptive opponents who may use it against you by deliberately pushing your buttons when they need you to lose your cool to their advantage. In your career, your IQ gets you started, but it is your EQ that not only keeps you in, but ensures that you grow. So, whether you look at it from a career perspective, or from a life perspective, letting the little things get to you does not serve you well.

By default, humanity thrives on interaction. No family is made up of one person. Neither is there a school, office or religious body that is made up of one person. The need for socialization, human interaction and engagement cannot be over-emphasized. You will be the same person you are today in the next 5 years, except for the books you read, and the company you keep. Because life is not a straight line, there always will be many curves, turns, bends, ups and downs, both in your career and your personal life. No matter how resilient, educated and self-reliant you are, the role of your spouse, colleagues, peers, leaders, mentors, siblings, religious leaders and even your children cannot be overlooked. Some will inspire you to prove them right or wrong, some will drive you to achieve more for their sake, some are just there to give you a listening ear – which can be priceless, some are there to intercede and pray for you, while others may just be there to ...

No matter how much you try, there would always be some unfinished business in the office. The day there is no more work to be done, the business goes out of business. The trick is to learn how to balance. Balance work with rest, family and other extra-curricular activity that catches your fancy. Listen. Nobody is indispensable. You may be important. Very important actually. But do not ever deceive yourself into believing that you are indispensable. Therefore, refusing to go on a deserved vacation using the excuse of the business suffering because of your short absence is actually self-delusional, and a sign of job insecurity. And remember, the ability to go on vacation is a function of the availability of funds to prosecute it, good health to enjoy it, a guaranteed job to come back to after the vacation, as well as the availability of free time, however short, to enjoy it. These are factors which your job and career currently enable. Do no...

Don’t drink soda, it’s not good for you. Don’t eat starchy foods, you will add weight. Don’t drink beer, you will have a pot-belly. Don’t…Don’t…Don’t. The list is endless. The truth is that, whether you like it or not, at some point in your life, due to no fault of yours, and notwithstanding how strict you are with your diet, you will add weight, and you may have some health issues, which may either be treatable or just manageable. The key is to enjoy all classes of food in moderation.  Eat breakfast as early as you can, and eat enough to get you far along the day.  Whatever you drink, wine, soda, beer, or spirit, consume moderately.  Ensure you also exercise at every opportunity. Just walk around at every chance. The only thing that you definitely should not take at all from a health perspective is cigarettes. All the tasty, yummy and delicious food available were made for our enjoyment.  It would be sad to work ...